I took the kids to WalMart today to buy a baby gate. Yes, a baby gate. Ridiculous, I know, especially since I sold at least 3 baby gates at the garage sale we had prior to moving because I thought we were done with things like baby gates. Thanks to The Little Kids relentless efforts to annoy The Boys I am now in need of a gate for the bottom of the stairs. The gate will keep The Little Kids from getting into The Boys rooms which will keep The Boys from bitching non-stop which will keep me from losing my mind. I had the child-proof doorknob things on their doors but The Little Kids would stand outside pounding on the door because they have nothing else better to do than push my buttons. I realized this afternoon a gate* was imperative for my sanity.
On the way to WalMart I received a call from Katie. Amazingly the kids were somewhat quiet while I talked to her so I kept talking while I loaded The Littles into one of those huge dumb 2 seater carts which I loathe but make life easier for someone that has kids of the same age. I kept talking while I shopped. I kept talking while Ham repeatedly licked my hand. Yes, licked. I had to stop talking when our huge dumb cart caught the corner of an enormous display of Little Tikes picnic tables and tree swings sending the entire thing crashing to the ground. Boxes and swings were blocking an entire main aisle in WalMart. And there I was the idiot on the phone with one kid licking my hand, another kid yelling at the kid licking my hand and 2 other kids at my heals doing who knows what. "Katie, I'll call you back I just created a disaster!"
Thank you to the cute stranger that helped me restack the entire display. Thank you for not looking at me like I'm an idiot. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help someone you don't know. Thank you for making my merry-go-round of chaos a little easier.
While we are on the topic of thanking strangers I'd also like to thank the stranger that helped me in the Meijer parking lot a few weeks before we moved. Thankfully I was by myself talking on the phone to Katie while wheeling a heaping cart of garbage sacks filled with returnable bottles and cans. Just as I pushed the cart into the main thorough fair in front of the store one of the bags broke loose and cans scattered all over the parking lot. It wasn't just a regular bag it was one of those giant black industrial sized garbage sacks big enough to dispose of a dead body. Did I mention it was a particularly windy day? The wind picked up those cans and scattered them like cockroaches fleeing from light. Cans EVERYWHERE. Cans rolling under cars, skittering across the parking lot. "Katie, I'll call you back I made a disaster!!"
Thank you stranger for helping me pick up the HUGE mess of parking lot cans. Thank you for not looking at me like I'm an idiot. Thank you for taking time out of your day twice to help me clean up the chaos that is my life. Yeah, twice. While we were cleaning up the bag blew over again, cans everywhere again.
As you can see the moral of this story is not to talk to Katie while pushing shopping carts because she causes disasters to happen. Keep that in mind next time she calls you while you're at the store. And always thank the strangers that help you clean up the messes in your life.
*The gate I bought did not work. Of course. So I have to take it back. Welcome to my merry-go-round of chaos.
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