Balloons, or baboons according to Hamilton, have been a banned item from our house since Pax and Park were little. Why? Because I'm the World's Meanest Mom. And because our kids fight over balloons to the point where I want to tear my hair out.
Example 1: When Pax and Park were little little they were given balloons at Sam's Club. Even though they BOTH had a balloon they fought over them. Then when one popped they fought over the remaining balloon until I popped it, because again, Mean Mommy.
Example 2: Pax and Park both received a balloon from Toys R Us. When we went to pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the airport Pax's balloon made a great escape into the sky. Tears, crying, pissing and moaning ensued. So we went to the Dollar Tree to get him a new balloon. He immediately yanked the string hard enough to pull the entire bottom of the balloon off. Deflated balloon = tears, crying.
Example 3: This one happened just last year at an outdoor birthday party. As a parting gift the boys were given balloons. I tied Parker's to his wrist but Paxton REFUSED, said he wanted to hold it. I warned him that it would most definitely fly away. Sure enough he let go. Tears, crying, pissing and moaning.
So why am I writing about balloons? Because I lost my mind and let the kids have balloons.
On Wednesday I took the kids to National Night Out. It's a community even hosted by local law and fire departments put on as a giant screw-you to crime. There were vehicles for the kids to climb all over, bounce houses, popcorn, candy and of course balloons.
We were hanging out with our neighbor from across the street, since his kids were getting balloons I gave in to peer pressure and let my kids have balloons. I gave in mainly because I had just met this neighbor and I didn't want him knowing how big of a jerk I am just yet. Plus, I didn't want the kids to cause an embarrassing scene about the balloons. As you'll read in a moment I saved the embarrassment for later.
All the kids got a balloon that they immediately wanted tied to their wrists. So I tied 4 balloons to 4 wrists. Then the kids wanted to go play on the playground which meant I had to untie and retie 4 balloons to the stroller...if anyone is counting that 12 times I had to tie/retie. Then Ham wanted to sit in the stroller and play with his balloon. No big deal, right? Until he yanked on it hard enough to break the string.
Panic immediately overcame my body as I watched the balloon float towards the sky. If we only have 3 balloons there would be tears and crying and chaos which leads to me pulling out my hair. For the sake of my sanity and my hair I did a running LEAP for the balloon. Mid air I am thinking about what a ridiculous person I am for going through such great lengths for a stupid balloon. As visions of crying kids start flashing through my mind I manage to catch the very tail end of the string. Score!! But the game is not over yet.
Upon landing my foot hits a wooden landscaping beam still slick from an afternoon rain shower. I do an arms flailing helicopter fall to the muddy ground, balloon still in hand. The entire community witnessed my fall but amazingly enough the neighbor said he didn't see it. I'm 99% sure he was just trying to save me further embarrassment.
When I explained why a seemingly normal person would make such a fool of themselves for a balloon he totally understood. Parents do ridiculous things to avoid crying kid chaos.
The windy stroller ride home was super fun. 4 balloons bouncing around hitting me in the face while I try to wrangle them from hitting other passer-bys in the face.
The night end with us watching fireworks from our driveway, because there are fireworks at least 2 nights a week out here. I'm starting to feel like Matt's brother that lived next to King's Island where there are fireworks every night of summer.
Overall it was a very fun night but next year I will stand by my no balloons allowed rule. The balloons have been causing fights and chaos since that night. I have it on good authority the scissor fair will be visiting us soon to end my balloon misery.
Example 1: When Pax and Park were little little they were given balloons at Sam's Club. Even though they BOTH had a balloon they fought over them. Then when one popped they fought over the remaining balloon until I popped it, because again, Mean Mommy.
Example 2: Pax and Park both received a balloon from Toys R Us. When we went to pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the airport Pax's balloon made a great escape into the sky. Tears, crying, pissing and moaning ensued. So we went to the Dollar Tree to get him a new balloon. He immediately yanked the string hard enough to pull the entire bottom of the balloon off. Deflated balloon = tears, crying.
Example 3: This one happened just last year at an outdoor birthday party. As a parting gift the boys were given balloons. I tied Parker's to his wrist but Paxton REFUSED, said he wanted to hold it. I warned him that it would most definitely fly away. Sure enough he let go. Tears, crying, pissing and moaning.
So why am I writing about balloons? Because I lost my mind and let the kids have balloons.
On Wednesday I took the kids to National Night Out. It's a community even hosted by local law and fire departments put on as a giant screw-you to crime. There were vehicles for the kids to climb all over, bounce houses, popcorn, candy and of course balloons.
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| Balloons are my nemesis |
We were hanging out with our neighbor from across the street, since his kids were getting balloons I gave in to peer pressure and let my kids have balloons. I gave in mainly because I had just met this neighbor and I didn't want him knowing how big of a jerk I am just yet. Plus, I didn't want the kids to cause an embarrassing scene about the balloons. As you'll read in a moment I saved the embarrassment for later.
All the kids got a balloon that they immediately wanted tied to their wrists. So I tied 4 balloons to 4 wrists. Then the kids wanted to go play on the playground which meant I had to untie and retie 4 balloons to the stroller...if anyone is counting that 12 times I had to tie/retie. Then Ham wanted to sit in the stroller and play with his balloon. No big deal, right? Until he yanked on it hard enough to break the string.
Panic immediately overcame my body as I watched the balloon float towards the sky. If we only have 3 balloons there would be tears and crying and chaos which leads to me pulling out my hair. For the sake of my sanity and my hair I did a running LEAP for the balloon. Mid air I am thinking about what a ridiculous person I am for going through such great lengths for a stupid balloon. As visions of crying kids start flashing through my mind I manage to catch the very tail end of the string. Score!! But the game is not over yet.
Upon landing my foot hits a wooden landscaping beam still slick from an afternoon rain shower. I do an arms flailing helicopter fall to the muddy ground, balloon still in hand. The entire community witnessed my fall but amazingly enough the neighbor said he didn't see it. I'm 99% sure he was just trying to save me further embarrassment.
When I explained why a seemingly normal person would make such a fool of themselves for a balloon he totally understood. Parents do ridiculous things to avoid crying kid chaos.
The windy stroller ride home was super fun. 4 balloons bouncing around hitting me in the face while I try to wrangle them from hitting other passer-bys in the face.
The night end with us watching fireworks from our driveway, because there are fireworks at least 2 nights a week out here. I'm starting to feel like Matt's brother that lived next to King's Island where there are fireworks every night of summer.
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Pax, Hayd and Ham on a mini garbage truck.
Parker was on the real garbage truck at the time of this photo.
I didn't get any other photos, I was too busy containing balloons.
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Overall it was a very fun night but next year I will stand by my no balloons allowed rule. The balloons have been causing fights and chaos since that night. I have it on good authority the scissor fair will be visiting us soon to end my balloon misery.
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