Remember before you were a parent? Yeah, neither do I. Well, there are fleeting moments. Like when I was pregnant with The Boys, Jed and I would discuss how we'd only let our kids eat fast food once a month. Now were lucky to keep it down to once a week at best.
Or that time I was working in a restaurant and witnessed a kid eating macaroni-and-cheese one noodle at a time with a sharp pointy tooth pick. As a non-parent I found this activity appallingly dangerous. I mentioned this to a cousin that had kids and she said, "Ah, not a big deal." Her nonchalant dismissal of the event had me concerned for the safety of her children. I feel like I should have reiterated the pointy toothpick part. As a parent now I still feel it was a bit dangerous, I would have at least given the kids a rounded toothpick, but I totally get that the parents were letting the kid do it because it allowed them an infinite amount of time to eat their own meals. My youthful self had no idea those people were freaking geniuses.
You know how people say, "Kids change everything". It's true, they do change everything, but not the sheets, I'm still waiting for that to happen. And it is my opinion that the more kids you have, especially in pairs, the lower your standards become. For example we went from "once a month fast food parents" to this:
That's Hayd and Ham in their "tents" under their beds watching youtube on tablets while eating hot dogs wrapped in paper towel. Because I told them it was like camping. Lucky for me the Little Kids are too young to remember what camping is really like. But, I have to tell you, they aren't hating Mommy's version of camping. This little "camping" activity bought me 45 glorious uninterrupted minutes. I of course used those minutes to work out and clean the house. Yeah, right. I sat on the couch drinking a beer while surfing Pinterest because I live here in reality and not in a pre-kid fantasy world.
What were The Boys doing during this time? This:
Watching their tablets while youtube was playing on their tv. That's what kids call multi-tasking these days. I am 100% against kids having tvs in their room but we had extra tvs when we moved here so yeah, you remember our once a month fast food rule? It's kind of like that. Like I said, kids change everything. Especially how you evaluate your life standards. In my defense, the above scenario happened on a Saturday. Jed was working AGAIN. These are choices of survival people!! I regret nothing.
Or that time I was working in a restaurant and witnessed a kid eating macaroni-and-cheese one noodle at a time with a sharp pointy tooth pick. As a non-parent I found this activity appallingly dangerous. I mentioned this to a cousin that had kids and she said, "Ah, not a big deal." Her nonchalant dismissal of the event had me concerned for the safety of her children. I feel like I should have reiterated the pointy toothpick part. As a parent now I still feel it was a bit dangerous, I would have at least given the kids a rounded toothpick, but I totally get that the parents were letting the kid do it because it allowed them an infinite amount of time to eat their own meals. My youthful self had no idea those people were freaking geniuses.
You know how people say, "Kids change everything". It's true, they do change everything, but not the sheets, I'm still waiting for that to happen. And it is my opinion that the more kids you have, especially in pairs, the lower your standards become. For example we went from "once a month fast food parents" to this:
That's Hayd and Ham in their "tents" under their beds watching youtube on tablets while eating hot dogs wrapped in paper towel. Because I told them it was like camping. Lucky for me the Little Kids are too young to remember what camping is really like. But, I have to tell you, they aren't hating Mommy's version of camping. This little "camping" activity bought me 45 glorious uninterrupted minutes. I of course used those minutes to work out and clean the house. Yeah, right. I sat on the couch drinking a beer while surfing Pinterest because I live here in reality and not in a pre-kid fantasy world.
What were The Boys doing during this time? This:
Watching their tablets while youtube was playing on their tv. That's what kids call multi-tasking these days. I am 100% against kids having tvs in their room but we had extra tvs when we moved here so yeah, you remember our once a month fast food rule? It's kind of like that. Like I said, kids change everything. Especially how you evaluate your life standards. In my defense, the above scenario happened on a Saturday. Jed was working AGAIN. These are choices of survival people!! I regret nothing.
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